This is a response to these posts, for context:
So I have been seeing some whiny ranting from that little bitch the Moon on this website about how horrible it is to be him, and I don't blame him. He is nothing more than a big rock rotating around the Earth, but just because you suck doesn't mean you have to be so Emo about it over the damn internet. Seriously, you sound like a fucking Escapist user whining about their virginity with the desire for attention that matches Moviebob (seriously, all caps is for fags). So to piss you off further I am going to gloat why I am so fucking awesome and better than you will ever be.
Bad ass shit I do
When it comes to you MOON, what exactly do you do that is so dangerous and badass? You cause the tides to come in and out? WOOP DEE FUCKING DOO!!! You have seen Australia right? You know, the country with all that Skin Cancer? Yeah, that was my doing, and even with their Slip Slop Slap campaign I still fuck them up. In fact worldwide I am burning the people's skin and making them too exhausted from the heat. In no time all that burning and laziness will make everyone on earth round, red and looking like the fucking Cool Aid Man:
And they will be talking like the Macho Man Randy Savage for some reason.
And while we are talking about liquids and Australia, I cause heat waves and droughts around the entire planet. The simmering heat causes hallucinations, and trust me, seeing a guy try to fuck a Cactus in a desert thinking it is a hot chick menstruating all over him is one of the funniest things you will ever see.
But that is not the best part. You ever seen people get really hot and try to find some water around and find out that it is all gone? I DID THAT, it’s called evaporation and it’s how I make babies (more on that later). And if they still find water? It’s boiling hot and damn undrinkable. I can troll people by just existing, while you have to watch weeaboos fap to 6 year old girls.
You know Moon, I also think you are really fucking pathetic for letting people walk all over you. Seriously, in the 60s and 70s humans walked all over your face and you did nothing like the pussy you are, yet on the internet you shit all over them. Again, just like Moviebob you won’t let go of a grudge and like him, you are round and white. But have you seen the humans try that shit with me? FUCK NO, they will be burned alive because they need their precious Ozone layer to stop me from killing them. That is how you deal with assholes you fucking pushover.
Cool Shit I do
Unlike you though I am not a cynical douchebag, as I do things to help those people on earth you hate so much when I don’t feel like trolling. The reason all those people are alive is because they needed the Ocean (AKA My Wife) and me, the sun, to survive. In fact I am always giving those bastards energy that they can use long into the night when you are watching. Energy used to pull retarded faces while they are fucking like this:
You another cool thing I do? SCARE NERDS!!! Seriously, for some reason those fuckers are scared shitless of me and hide in their basements. Why is that a cool thing? Because all you normal people don’t have to deal with their aspie crap in real life. Unfortunately those fuckers have found refuge on the internet, but for the most part they are nocturnal and sleep all day so only YOU Moon, have to deal with them.
Giving birth to clouds
Have you ever been so awesome that your very presence creates babies? Of course you haven’t, you still go to this website after all the E-Drama is over. As mentioned earlier, the ocean is my wife, and despite being together for billions of years she still finds me attractive. You know that evaporation thing I brought up earlier? That is how my kids, the clouds , are born. Unfortunately all those fucking Sailors and Pirates are a bunch of creepy looking fucking perverts, but I get my kids to pee on them and make their jobs hell.
Speaking of which, my kids are disobedient little shits. They don’t stop pissing everywhere, including on my wife. I try to burn their backs but the fuckers don’t stop, in fact they go overboard and kill themselves. Moon, you like to bitch and complain about being awake all the time, but do you have to see your kids die everyday? You know I have outlived BILLIONS of my children right? Yet you complain about noise? You know how damn loud it is during the day?
British People: A History Lesson
Oh britfags, we go back to the time of Neanderthals, the original gingers. While they originated in the middle east, the Ginger ones couldn’t handle the heat and ran into Europe and migrated to England and Ireland, where they were able to hide from me by using my kids as a shield (My kids like that area for some reason). That Ginger fear has never gone away to this day since all gingers have inherited their rubbish genes from the extinct Neanderthals.
Of course, I wasn’t going to let the Ginger scum get away with it, so I decided to convince my kids to constantly pee on them…CONSTANTLY!!! The downside to this is that all the other humans around them had to suffer too, which made them extremely miserable and angry all the damn time. That is why all British people are miserable, cynical twats.
That and they are pale and hideous looking, but that is what you get for hiding from me. Australians and Americans are British descendants but they look perfectly fine. So Moon, when was the last time YOU changed an entire culture? Oh that’s right, you were too busy masturbating to the 4 Galilean Moons of Jupiter. Face it, you’re not getting a fivesome with them you selfish virgin…and what do you know, like Moviebob.
Conclusion
Stop being a faggot moon. Oh wait, since you like to speak in caps like a 12 year old with brain damage I will speak your language. QUIT YOUR BITCHING AND ACTUALLY DO SOMETHING YOU FAT WHITE VIRGIN LOSER. I’ll see you on November 25th where I will burn your back again, which I am sure you will whine about again like an emo kid on Live Journal. Seriously, no one wants to hear about your “Dark Side” unless it is Pink Floyd.
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