Templar Gamer Fanfiction

It was a fine summer's day, the children were running outside and playing, while young adults were baking in the sun and swimming at the beach. But one permavrigin decided to stay indoors on this day, for he had to deal with the evil JFreedan on the internet. Because everyone knows the Internet is serious business and is far more important than going outside and having friends

Upon losing his youtube account, Templar was full of rage but refused to give in to JFreedan, and he decided to show his passion by writing "JFreedan Sucks" on his cock with permanent marker. He struggled at first because he didn't have enough room, but he started watching his old videos from his hard drive and that gave him a big enough hard on to write it on. He was proud of what he did and loved that even when he was taking a piss or jacking off, the first thing that could come to his mind was JFreedan.

Unfortunately after a 3 months and 2 showers later, he noticed the permanent marker wasn't quite so permanent. Before it completely went away he needed to permanently have JFreedan on his cock, so he decided to visit the local Tattoo parlour. He told the Tattoo artist,  "See THIS!!!" after revealing his penis. The Tattoo artist said "that is nothing to be proud of, I have done Tattoos for black guys if you know what I mean". Templar replied "No, what I wrote on it. It says JFreedan Sucks, and I want you to turn it into a permanent tattoo".

The artist looked confused at first and agreed to do it, but needed to ask him "How are you going to get an erection for the time needed to complete the tattoo?". Templar showed him a link to the Chinese playlist of all the flagged JFreedan related videos and said "There is enough content here to give me a boner for hours. You just worry about inking my cock". The Artist raised his left brow in a look of confusion and said "All right you weirdo, but you better not jizz on me...you freak".

So the artist inked away and was amazed at how Templar felt absolutely no pain what so ever. The endorphins released from Templar's body from watching the anti-freedan were far more powerful than any painkiller, and watched the videos as if nothing was happening to him, with his erection still in tact. While the artist was confused, he was mighty impressed with this display.

After he was finished Templar stared at his dick and rejoiced as if he saw a real life vagina for the first time, and decided it was time to execute his master plan. He decided to attend a local Anime convention where Jfreedan would be and decided to confront him with his newly enhanced, yet still unimpressive weapon. He found JFreedan and stared into each others eyes, reminiscent of classic stand off's in Westerns. But JFreedan's focused stare turned to confusing as he focused on the tent that was pitched in Templar's pants. The confrontation excited Templar, and once he knew JFreedan was staring at his Johnson he knew it was time to reveal his weapon.

Off came his pants and the entire convention saw Templar Gamer's erect penis. JFreedan averted his eyes and screamed "WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU, I DON'T WANT TO SEE THAT". Templar replied "Of course you don't, you can't deal with constructive criticism. Face it Carey, you suck". JFreedan screamed for security to get Templar out of the building and they obliged. As Templar was being taken away he screamed "THAT IS WHAT YOU GET FOR CENSORING PEOPLE ON YOUTUBE". Immediately after, a Weeaboo Narutard told him "Even I think your a faggot".

After coming home and preparing a video bragging about his exploits, he noticed his browser wasn't displaying Youtube.com anymore. After checking his emails he got one from JFreedan saying:

To Templar Troll,


I talked to the higher ups on youtube about your harassment and they agreed that you should be IP Blocked from ever seeing or using youtube ever again. Hopefully this can set a precedent for me to be able to stop who ever I want from using youtube again...oh I just got a message from youtube, and Asalieri can't access Youtube either. At least there is a silver lining in all this, I now have the power to do what ever I want on youtube.


Die you Troll.


From, 


Carey "The Fucking Dark Maverick" Martel


After realising what he had done, he decided to get laser surgery to removed the tattoo. Unfortunately the Doctor misguided the laser and was aimed at his balls. He could no longer obtain an erection and was now completely sterile.

He ran home and whined about his story on the DHI message boards, but Rabidtictac decided to replace his rant that took him an hour to write with "LOL I AM AN ATTENTION WHORE. PLEASE PITTY ME" for the Lulz.